What has the world come to?

Reading this morning’s NZ Herald where children as young as 10 or less were threatening people who did not give them sweets for Trick or Treating last night. On top of that there were families transporting children to the more affluent areas for Trick or Treating hoping for better pickings.

What has the world come to? Where are the instillation of values in these families? It beats me!

I personally am not a fan of Halloween. It is a very American thing that has come in over the last few years. I certainly wasn’t brought up with it but then life was a lot simpler back then. The big event of the year was Guy Fawkes. Yes we celebrated a person who wanted to blow up the English Parliament!!

Having said all this, I am not against progress or change. What bothers me most is the behaviour of society. If children are not given sound boundaries and values, where is this society heading to?

Now I am not saying it was all wonderful when I grew up but I sure as hell learnt about the values of gratitude, and respect among others. I learnt that when I was given a gift (even a sweet is a gift) I said thank you, even it if I didn’t really like the sweet I had received.

I learnt that being respectful (courteous and polite) actually received many more rewards than being nasty and disrespectful. Pretty simple logic isn’t it. Why are so many of our children not instilled with these very basic principles these days?

What I also find somewhat disturbing is some of the children causing these problems come from God faring homes. Families who go to church on a regular basis yet somehow these values are escaping being of importance. Is this not part of the religious teaching these days?

So what are we going to do about it? Well I am sorry I don’t have the answers.
All I can say is that I feel proud and comfortable that I have instilled these values in my own children and they will instill them in their children. That is the best I can come up with.

I am not going to put another load on to our school teachers either. I think they do a wonderful job. However they could use a tool such as the virtues in their teaching. It may make things much easier for them in the long run.

I am going to lay the blame firmly back on the parents or parent of the childre. I don’t care if it a one or two parent family, these values start in the home. They come from parents being respectful towards each other and their children and the parents appreciating everyone. You don’t need a two parent family for this to occur.

I was a single parent for many years yet I still managed to set these very basic values into my children. These are learned behaviours and they can be learned. If we go back to the basics of teaching values and the art of giving and receiving we will start to see some changes.

It is time for us to teach our children to think about not what they can get from others but rather what can I give to others. This is a basic law -the art of giving and receiving and it has served society for centuries. For what you give out will return a ten fold dividend – be it time, money, respect, appreciation, love, joy. Pretty simple really don’t you think?

The power of clarity

I have been having a few problems with my dog not coming to me when I call him, running off doing his own thing and almost saying "I am going to do as Ii like".

Well I decided this was going to stop. Serious behaviour training was called for. (I sound like the Nanny programmes dont I)

An interesting thing happened as a result. The moment I committed to it and decided to take action everything changed. He suddenly became very obedient and no longer runs away from me plus he is more content and happy.

So why did this happen?

It is the power of two words - Commitment and Clarity. Once I got clear and I became committed to taking action things changed.

The same thing happens in our everyday life. If things are not working for you as well as you would like take a look at how clear you are on what you are wanting to achieve and how committed you are to achievign it. Once you identify these two areas be prepared to be amazed by rapid results.

Happiness

Talking about happiness what is happiness? Is it a state of wellbeing? A state of inner peace? A sense of wholeness?

I guess it is something very individual however I think it is a state that many people have lost or forgotten what it feels like.

When did you last have a belly laugh? Something that rocks and shakes your whole insides. When did you last burst into peels of laughter?

For me it has been quite a long time. The art of laughter seems to have passed me by. Are you in the same boat?

To examine this a little more for myself living on my own there is not a lot of opportunities to break out into a belly laugh. Sure when I go out I enjoy myself and I smile and laugh but it is not a belly laugh that often.

Recently I went to a friends place for dinner. I didnt acutally know it was her birthday nor did i know any of the people there apart from her. There was a just a small gathering.

Before I left home I would have given anything to stay home. I was tired. I had a headache but I said i would go to dinner so I went.

After dinner my friends brother devised a quiz on how much did we know about his sister. Well I have to say we didnt know a lot but what did happen we had a lot of laughs. It has to be one of the best nights out I have had for a long time.

The final note here was I found my laughter germ again and my headache went. I come home relaxed and had a wonderful nights sleep. Stark reminder of how easy it is to lose the art of laughter. Have your lost your laughter germ too?

What is Reverence

On uesday night last week (19th October) I was on Improv Radio with Pat Armitstead. In Pat's show, she uses the Virtues Cards.

The Virtues Club was founded 25 years ago in Canada. They researched all the religions in the world and took from each the common words used by each and brought them together as a tool to help parents rear their children with these values.

I was to draw the card for the show and I drew Reverence.

The word Reverence is quite a difficult word to explain. I think it is something that is inate in us but in European society we lose quite early on in life because we are taught to live so much in our heads.

Reverence to me is a state of being. It is a soul connection where a person allows thenself to just be themselves. A state where a person is not striving for or too something just being at one with nature and themselves.

I would be interested to hear what others say about reverence. You can either add to this blog or email me at leigh@clinicalupdate.co.nz

If you want to listent to the show http://www.planetaudio.org.nz/player/player1.php?id=73382 it is well worth a read.

Are we too PC for our own good?

As I mentioned yesterday, have we lost the ability to laugh at ourselves?

While I don't support riducule or put downs of anyone, because I dont like to be the recipient of them comments and jokes about other cultures have gone on for years.

The Irish have been the but of jokes being purported as stupid (which they are not) the Scots as being miserly (and they are not) to name a few. Yet I don't see these people getting up in arms about it. They just laugh at it along with everyone else.

This whole issue with Paul Henry has got totally out of hand and I personally think laughing at someones name or questioning where a person was born will continue to be asked. Sacking Police because a joke was sent on email with a comment to is a bit over the top. How many of us have been guilty of making a flippent remark?

The issue here really is the forum these comments, remarks or jokes are made in. Everyone is so careful to save face.

Perhaps Paul Henry just says what others are thinking but too afraid to speak out? I don't know but it has all got totally out of hand in my book.

My 4 leged mate is on the mend

I am pleased to say the my mate's eye is healing well. He is back to his old self.

Now I don't know if this is a male thing, but he hasn't learned. He still harrasses the cat!! What is the matter with him?

Is it name thing? His name is Henry. Do Henry's not learn?

As far as the other Henry is concerned (Paul) the sad thing is we have lost an excellent interviewer. Sure he get a bit too sure of himself from time to time but hey haven't we all said and done things we regret.

Are we becoming a bit to PC. Why can we not laugh at ourselves? Has the world lost its capacity to turning the other cheek?

I was told as a youngster "Sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me". I think it is things like this that make us stronger.

The joy of animals

A few weeks back I posted an article about animals and how important they are. Many women claim animals are better listeners than men. Well there are many comparisons we could make if we want to.

My 4 legged mate Henry (my dog) I reckon causes me as much grief as any 2 legged male could. Her has allergies that cause his ears to flare up which requires treatment. When ever I go to treat his ears, he runs away (is there an analogy here for me).

Now he has scaped his cornea and has to go to an eye specialist. It seems like it is never ending.

However, all that a side, I wouldnt be without my mate. He keeps me company in my home and in the car. I talk to him and he NEVER answers me back, he just listens. His pleasures are simple like an early morning walk. He sits under my desk while I am working and he cuddles up to me at night and keeps me warm. AND the cat hates him.

I guess it is telling me that life isnt always perfect and how we want it to be. All the challengers and upheavels help us to be compassionate, careing and above all tolerant. We are truely blessed aren't we.